This is More Like It: +250

To quote George W. Bush, "You're welcome, America."

Today was the perfect storm for economic growth. I started out with a little workout in the early AM, which has spelled success for the stocks in nearly 100% of instances.

The Outfit:
Socks: White
Shoes: White New Balance Cross Trainers
Undies: Can’t recall at this point, probably hanes.
Pants: Blue Nike Shorts
Shirt: White

It's been a rocky week, and today I finally decided that I was over this whole economy going downhill. I went to my internship, and was expecting a visit from my girl for lunch, and so I was dressed extra fancy. So far it has been my strategy to dress in bright colors to stimulate the economy. Today it occurred to me that maybe I have somewhat been on the wrong track. It occurred to me today that perhaps a better idea would be to dress for success.

The Outfit:
Socks: Jean Socks
Shoes: Iron Maiden Slip-Ons
Pants: Dark Express Jeans
Undies: Navy Blue Hanes Classics Boxer Briefs
Shirt: Chocolate Brown, Striped Express Buttondown.

What happened to stocks? They went up 250 points. It was exhilarating. I looked good, and the stockbrokers in Wall Street were into it. It felt good, and I hope I can keep on bringing you these sorts of gains.

The Recipe for Success +200?

Having worked out some of the kinks in my previous outfits, I constructed a bold new offering to help stimulate our economy. I went to work at my internship today, so I decided to dress nicely. Noting that green clothing items have tended to lead to bullish games, I went all out—On my feet, a pair of moss green argyle socks, above that, some Vans slip-ons featuring the cover art of Iron Maiden’s ‘Piece of Mind’ album. I topped this off with a pair of faded, light blue express jeans, and some black polyester boxers. The trick? The boxers were my Christmas undies, featuring sparkly green Christmas trees. A diesel belt finished off the bottom half of the ensemble.

The top half of the outfit was simpler: a white v-neck hanes undershirt covered by a cashmere argyle sweater featuring green and yellow triangles.

The result, nearly 200 points of growth.

Note: I accidentally spilled some banana cinnamon ice cream on the cashmere sweater, which will need to be dry-cleaned. As we are nearing the end of the month, I am short on cash, and will not be able to afford dry-cleaning until I have an influx of liquidity from my parents, in the form of my rent money and grocery budget.

A Bold Step Forward +400

Today was a big day for the American Stock Market. The Dow Jones Industrial Average rose nearly 500 points, which many hope may be an early step towards a recovery, or at least a slowing of the recent decline. Analysts were quick to ascribe this boom to the Obama Administration’s announcement that it would be buying up bad bank assets, but I knew otherwise.

I have long been aware that, on a personal level, I have a profound effect on the global economy. I have, over the course of the past few months, cross-referenced various factors in my personal life with the performance of the stocks. I was able to informally eliminate false causes such as my mood, what I ate for breakfast, and whether or not I got any action recently. While many of these indicators seemed to have at least some relationship at first, I dismissed them, and others, through a complex system of regression analysis.

I am pleased to announce that on Monday, March 23rd, 2009, I was at last able to determine that the aspect of my day-to –day life that has the most impact on the stock market, is my attire. After weeks of excited speculation, I was thrilled to note that my decision to pair a lime green polo express polo shirt (size medium) with a brown pair of Buck Lassiick Vans with neon green laces resulted in the aforementioned 500 point surge in the Dow Jones.

Needless to say, I was extremely excited , as I have watched (along with the rest of the United States—and the world, I’m sure) with increasing worry and frustration, the dramatically falling stocks, and the corresponding effect upon the economy. I decided to follow up my previous ensemble with what I thought would be another strong outfit for the economy.