Amazing Gains +1,711

Ladies and gentlemen, I'm pretty please with my most recent efforts. I know I haven't been blogging because I have been in the lab at Cal Poly's Sartorial-Economic Observation Labs almost every day, analyzing outfits with their top scientists. It's very hush-hush, but I can say that, as of today, we are much closer to cracking the code on this one. The result of this four month isolation has been impressive: a seventeen hundred point gain. At this point, the study has concluded, and Professors Chen and Niraj will be crunching the data for a few more weeks, but hopefully we are about to enter a new age of prosperity.

This is More Like It: +250

To quote George W. Bush, "You're welcome, America."

Today was the perfect storm for economic growth. I started out with a little workout in the early AM, which has spelled success for the stocks in nearly 100% of instances.

The Outfit:
Socks: White
Shoes: White New Balance Cross Trainers
Undies: Can’t recall at this point, probably hanes.
Pants: Blue Nike Shorts
Shirt: White

It's been a rocky week, and today I finally decided that I was over this whole economy going downhill. I went to my internship, and was expecting a visit from my girl for lunch, and so I was dressed extra fancy. So far it has been my strategy to dress in bright colors to stimulate the economy. Today it occurred to me that maybe I have somewhat been on the wrong track. It occurred to me today that perhaps a better idea would be to dress for success.

The Outfit:
Socks: Jean Socks
Shoes: Iron Maiden Slip-Ons
Pants: Dark Express Jeans
Undies: Navy Blue Hanes Classics Boxer Briefs
Shirt: Chocolate Brown, Striped Express Buttondown.

What happened to stocks? They went up 250 points. It was exhilarating. I looked good, and the stockbrokers in Wall Street were into it. It felt good, and I hope I can keep on bringing you these sorts of gains.

Some Positive Movement: +50

Today began with a nice early morning run with my novia (A little over 2 miles in a little under 20 minutes, not bad for a rotund fellow like myself), for which I wore the my standard workout outfit:

The Outfit:
• Socks: White
• Shoes: White New Balance Cross Trainers
• Undies: Can’t recall at this point, probably hanes.
• Pants: Blue Nike Shorts
• Shirt: White

I didn’t really look closely at stocks this morning. I got back from the run around nine and had to eat before showering and heading to class. I find it a waste of time to watch the markets during the day, as I know the only number that matters is the one we see at the end of the day.

Anyway, after my shower I was running late so I threw on some clothes and biked to campus.

The Outfit:
• Socks: White
• Shoes: Brown Bucky Lasick Vans, Lime Green Laces
• Pants: Midtone Express Jeans, freshly washed
• Shirt: Yellow Threadless Shirt,
• The Response: +50

Today’s gain is a little disappointing. The shirt is yellow, but as it is old, some of the brightness may have been limited. Also, while the the lime green laces in my vans look fresh, The shoes themselves are a little faded. I think I'll try to clean up the shoes, hoping to make them more presentable.
Overall, I am never unhappy with a gain, and so I was glad to help Americans regain some wealth after the recent losses.

A Major Setback: -190

I thought today was going to be a good day for the markets, I really did.
The outfit:
Shoes: Brown Leather Rockport Sneakers
Socks: White
Undies: Blue Polyster/ Silk Blend Boxers
Pants: Dark Blue Express Jeans
Belt: Brown Leather, Pewter Eagle Buckle
Shirt: Orange Express Polo

A bit of history: The orange polo was the article that first tipped me off to a potential link between my attire and global financial health. I held off on wearing it, therefore, until I thought the markets could use a little jolt.

After a day of losses on Monday, I figured the markets could use it, and I have also felt the DJI responded well to my express jeans. I realize now, however, that the rockport shoes were a mistake. It seems so obvious now, and I can't believe what a foolish decision it was. I know I on't need to explain how this resulted in nearly 200 points lost, so I'll save both of our time.

Still, don't lose faith, American traders, tomororw is a new day, and the recent laundry development will surely help us rebound.

Carefully Moderated Drop -40

I didn't end up going for the run I'd planned this morning, instead I rose late, running short on time before class.

Shoes: Old Tan Vans, stained with hot chocolate
Sox: Blue Jean Socks
Undies: Blue Hanes Boxers
Pants: Dark Blue Levis
Shirt: royal blue, with Superman on it.

I'll admit it, I didn't put too much thought into this outfit. I was rushing to give a paper some final edits before bolting out to class at the last minute. I did notice that stocks rebounded significantly, from nearly 200 points down when I hit the scene looking a bit bedraggled, but still fairly handsome. Better luck tomorrow?

Thank You For the Vote of Confidence, Mr. Cramer!

CNBC's Jim Cramer, who has recently been raked over the coals by Jon Stewart of The Daily Show, has apparently made one good call recently. An article written by the unfortunately named Jeff Poor, talks about Cramer's belief that the depression is over.



If you're interested in learning the difference between a recession and a depression (there really isn't one) you should click here. Otherwise, allow me to explain, in my own words: A recession is a smaller downtown, a sustained period of bearish markets, that has some negative impact upon the economy, but is quickly recovered from. A depression is a much larger scale downturn, that may include economic retraction, rather than growth or stagnation.

Anyway, Mr. Cramer believes that the depression is over and, while things may not be completely restored, we are on the road to recover.

Allow me to say thank you, Mr. Cramer. I appreciate that you have faith in my ability to continually select the best outfits for the global economy. I think that if more people in the mainstream media had Cramer's optimism, the people would start becoming more confidence and start getting ready for growth. Were this to happen, I feel confident that employers would start hiring again, and the economy would get on the right track even more rapidly.

The reason for this is simple: I have reason to believe that my dressing my very best is what the economy needs, and in order to do that, I need to have a job interview. So I urge other financial commentators to follow Cramer's lead, tell the people that good days are coming soon, and that they can afford to invest more in everything-- including recently graduated copywriters who have built up an impressive amount of experience over the past few years and are looking for work in Los Angeles.

Only when that happens will our economy really turn a corner.

An Interesting New Prospect, +40

Today a class cancelled, and reports that I will likey not find employment at my current internship kept me home and in my underwear. A pair of white valentine’s day boxers, featuring hearts, skulls, and the phrase, ‘punk rock love’. The shirt was a dirty white cotton undershirt, worn inside out. Stocks dipped 5 points further when I noticed a hole in the underwear. But jumped about 10 when I put on my fleece pajamas that have flames on them.

Spending the morning working in front of the TV, I watched the erratic stocks, and finally decided that, if I was able to overcome Wednesday’s disappointing job prospects, I should try and get the markets going. Considering previous positive response to athletic attire, I threw on some running shorts, a t-shirt, and my new balance cross trainers and went to the gym.

When I returned, Stocks had nearly evened out to zero. I decided to take a shower, figuring I didn’t have much to lose, and when I got out, the markets had closed at nearly +40

Now, I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but it seems to me that the market responded very positively to me being nude.

I’ll investigate this story to the fullest extent that I can, and will endeavor to continue bringing you the best economy I can.