A Catastrophsoc Misstep -250

After Friday's embarrassingly apathetic fashion offering, I was perhaps a little too enthusiastic in my attempt to right my wrongs. I slept in this morning, and originally paired a paired some blue jeans with a yellow t-shirt reading 'Sex Makes Me Come and Go,' the latter being a gift from my girlfriend that I have not yet had the courage to wear. I chickened out at the last moment, replacing the shirt with a lime green one, adorned with a repeating pattern of fleur de lis, with blue hanes boxers, blue jeans socks, and the black Reeboks with purple laces I mentioned in last evening's weekly forecast.

Needless to say, this caused General Motors Stock's to lose 25% of their values. I'm not sure which aspect of my outfit the NYSE found so objectionable. Perhaps it was the fact that the seldom worn black Reeboks reminded commodity traders that oil is still overpriced, which led crude prices to drop to nearly $48 a barrel. I think it may have something to do with the fact that my continued inability to find my laundy card has led to my black russel sweatshirt being a bit dirty. There was also a dirt stain on the left knee of the Levis I wore today. I'd buy a new laundry card but they run about $25 dollars and that's more than I can afford right now. I'm afraid I've falled into a trap of my own making. Having decimated the economy through the past six months of poor style choices, I have now doomed myself to a life of wearing dirty clothes. Still, I only have myself to blame.

It is worth noting that Amazon.com's stock went up about 1 point, which I can't quite explain, but it isn't good enough. I'm sorry America. I will try and do better tomorrow. I will not rest until I have figured out what the heart of this issue is, and discovered what I need to do to protect the future of our country's most important living national monuments-- our American coroprations.