An Interesting New Prospect, +40

Today a class cancelled, and reports that I will likey not find employment at my current internship kept me home and in my underwear. A pair of white valentine’s day boxers, featuring hearts, skulls, and the phrase, ‘punk rock love’. The shirt was a dirty white cotton undershirt, worn inside out. Stocks dipped 5 points further when I noticed a hole in the underwear. But jumped about 10 when I put on my fleece pajamas that have flames on them.

Spending the morning working in front of the TV, I watched the erratic stocks, and finally decided that, if I was able to overcome Wednesday’s disappointing job prospects, I should try and get the markets going. Considering previous positive response to athletic attire, I threw on some running shorts, a t-shirt, and my new balance cross trainers and went to the gym.

When I returned, Stocks had nearly evened out to zero. I decided to take a shower, figuring I didn’t have much to lose, and when I got out, the markets had closed at nearly +40

Now, I don’t want to jump to any conclusions, but it seems to me that the market responded very positively to me being nude.

I’ll investigate this story to the fullest extent that I can, and will endeavor to continue bringing you the best economy I can.